( This is a note I made in Fb ages ago)
You messed up my life –you probably sent me to my early grave to some extend yet am still here fighting my way though life kicking and screaming –but having to understand the pain your body is giving you is a lot worse then what you might think — kidney failure kicked my ass I well never stop saying that it pretty much told me that only your body can stop you -the biopsy was evil by it’s self I remember them trying to put a iv only it took at least 4 people to do so ?
My body was in pain I had no meds in my body I was so messed up you probably couldn’t even noticed I was in pain walking into the building sucked I remember getting on my tummy and hearing the doctor say you won’t feel it I freaking felt the needle not sure If i cried but maybe I should have —
I couldn’t go home because my bp and something else went up and it was pretty scary —lupus nephritis the actual term welcomed it’s self to my life along with chemo x’s 2 and some other 15 other pills to keep me alive and getting a weekly shot
***6 years later am chemo free lupus meds free but am still gabbie maybe a little less scared but still always hoping for the best -did this make me stronger i would think so …do I hate having lupus of course ..
I do it’s a daily fight I deal with .. But am getting better at dealing with the idea that the lupus is here but am in control –so as I celebrate my 6th year anniversary over the next few months, I well be grateful that am still human and that lupus picked the wrong women to mess with even though…
I wish a cure well become mainstreamed in my life time I hope . I dont pity my self- Nor do i want people to I HATE it when people say ” am sorry” for what the damage is already here.. I cant fix it .. all i can do is keep walking.. I want safer meds.. Gabbie A is a fighter-
*** This was written when i was 26 Im now soon to be 30