Sometimes life or even your health can stop you in your tracks.. Lupus did this to 20 year old gabbie. It all started with knee pain at 3 am in the morning. I was still living at home and i remember waking up and telling my mom i didn’t like this .
about a week later or so i went to the doctor got tests done and my (anti-nuclear antibody (ANA) blood test.) was at the border line but not yet lupus ok… give or take about a week i started to gain weight .. went to the hospital and of course they didn’t find anything wrong with me .. give or take another week stuff started to hurt.. my mom now really noticed that her kid was sick .. ( she didn’t believe me when we went to the hospital the first time)
this is when stuff went down hill .. next hospital visit was hell i couldn’t walk right , i couldn’t sit down with out being in pain … and the waiting game started .. all i know is this was the worst pain i have ever had .. but all i knew is this didn’t feel right …i remember sitting in the waiting room wrapped in my blanket just sitting there and hoping what ever was wrong with me when end soon .. I remember seeing my moms look on her face and she was scared … but we both knew we had to wait no matter what … I think i feel a sleep ..
we go in and i had x-rays and blood tests and then..
You are in kidney failure and your not suppose to be here cause of your insurance
when i go back and think about that i could have cared less about the fucking insurance all i know is i was sick and i wanted this shit to end ..
wow to much going on in a 20 years old head .. wow if 20 year old gabbie knew what i know .. now wow i would have given her a huge ass hug and told her this is going to change your out look even more about life and people will say things you dont want to hear .. Gabbie … am sorry. but you knew someday your life was going to change because… this cant be good nor bad .. trust me one day .. you will come to terms that you have no control on what our body does and that someday .. you will be more grateful you are alive .
You have a choice take the pills …dont take the pills or just let it do what it wants.. if you take the pills you will have problems later on …..and you have to drink a lot of water because if you dont… you might get bladder cancer…
20 year old me said” give me the pills”
March – May 2004 where a non stop battle and in may of that year ”
we found out whats wrong you have lupus .. the lupus attacked your kidney/s“
The denial stage didnt last long am not going to joke about something like that . I hated hearing” am sorry your in pain” and even to this day i keep hearing it .
if 20 year old me would have lived in the 50s, 60s, or even the 70s i would have be given at least 10 years to live if that and .. funny how a medical conditions very misunderstood become a death sentence at one point.
so if you have done the math by now ..I’m now 29 this coming May or past may depending on when you read this will be year 9 . my lupus is under control .. i have a moderate case of sle ( the lupus i have ).. pain wise its nothing compared to what the lupus did to my kidneys ..
i know what your thinking .. wow thats a lot of ” shit” for someone so young yeah but you know what .. am able to still be me , still be a little eccentric and still be able to enjoy the little things and still dance and walk to my own beat….. but you know what matters to me the most that am able to sit down ( sometimes) and not bitch about the pain lmao
The lupus for the better has made Gabbie awesome 🙂 not that i wasnt before but like i said my outlook on life is NEVER TAKE IT FOR GRANTED!
I would love to see the day where lupus is cured but I have a feeling i wont . If i do I promise i will do everything in my power to get in front of the line and say ” get out of my way bitches.. this shit ends now and i want it to end now“.. i have a feeling i would end up on the news with ” Women fights her way to lupus cure” lmao
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